I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
