Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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