dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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