Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
