Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
