Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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