my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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