U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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