A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
