If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
