I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
