I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just high enough for therapy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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