I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
