He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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