butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I will die if light touches me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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