Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
be right there i have to get my cape
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
