I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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