You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
