Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you inspire me to be a worse person
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
