I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
