coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
