There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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