Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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