Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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