how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What a dumb baby whore.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
