how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
