Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
