If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
