Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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