You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
