So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
