Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Help me help you realize you are a moron
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
