# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
