I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
