He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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