Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
is wine microwaveable?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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