oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
