Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
