I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
