I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
