So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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