is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone came in the potted fern
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
