dude i'm inner monologue high
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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