Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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