dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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