And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
