My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
