Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
