i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
