Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
