Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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