Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
