Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did you pee in the oven last night??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
