Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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